tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54421203770599821462024-03-13T10:44:23.772-07:00Mind Side ViewShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-67128094949582966532010-05-25T09:30:00.001-07:002010-05-25T13:26:53.212-07:00Worthlessinglyi feel quite a bit less then now. Is this how the end starts out? Anger, mistrust, and doubt. Is this you yelling "I WANT OUT"? i always believe the words you say. i only wish that went both ways. i try to do what's right, believe me. Oh, i forgot those words deceive me. Deceiving. Leaving, is not my answer. i honestly was trying to calm the evening. A little time of quietness i thought might be what's needed to put things right. Wrong. Today. It's a new start. Let's steal some flowers from the park. A new flower, a new.year. A new heart of pain and fear. i hate myself more then ever. i'm sorry i'm not the perfect lover. Or even a decent father. Right? Now i feel like screaming. Stop. You know the meaning. What i wouldn't give to just be dreaming. Clinging. To what once was, to both of us. The nighttime cold that was our friend now feels more and more like sin. Insecurity. Unjustified, i have not lied. i have mine too, i know they don't belong to you. i will no longer feed you my guilt. Stop. No more jokes with hidden meaning. It's just a way to protect my feelings. Stealing. A small smile, hiding myself the whole while. Not unlike a frightened child. i lay awake not knowing how to speak. Or if i could find words would they haunt me? Passion, replaced by silence. Please believe this not my intent. Oh, i forgot. You don't believe me. All my words are without feeling. Then you wonder why i'm silent. i'm thinking, about what i'm seeing. i see the woman i fell in love with when i look at you. i don't know how you don't see her too. I do. True. i'm no beauty. i hope you don't see me differently. i see. Perhaps you do. That's why you think i do too. i don't. Never will. Never blame you for what i do. The air is thick and ever heavy. It's hard to breath, it's hard to remedy. Fix this, i wish i could. I would and will do whatever. Just tell me them, i'll answer your prairs. At least the best i can. i'm only man. At least i try to be. Sorry. Not much of one. Stop.Shamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-13149470087255964702010-02-15T09:08:00.000-08:002010-10-31T13:15:03.034-07:00LovelingStanding on top of a hill<br />
from up here i can see all you're thrills<br />
i wish that i was yours to kill<br />
i wish that i had left one last pill<br />
<br />
Sleeping under the dark sea<br />
from down here my dreams are as real as can be<br />
i wish that i was yours to please<br />
i wish that i had dropped to one kneeShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-72276808122883899782010-02-15T09:06:00.000-08:002010-02-15T09:08:32.693-08:00Broken Diedi can not lie to you my love<br />i'm broken apart by our words<br />i run and hide from both of us<br />But not for long i tell birds<br /><br />i cannot cry on your new life<br />my screams are wet and died<br />my face dry cracked and bruised<br />i hate this song i've liedShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-11174414080812986762010-02-15T09:01:00.000-08:002010-02-15T09:06:03.397-08:00my Little Missesmy little misses says<br />you can't run and you can't fly<br />i believe it when she says<br />you can't love if<br />You expect to die<br /><br />When i see it in her lies<br />i'll believe it when she tries<br />there's nothing left behind closed eyes<br />my little misses runs and hidesShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-61200033263896112952010-02-15T08:57:00.000-08:002010-02-15T09:01:05.058-08:00Eyei believe there's a place where we can go<br />where we'll always be held and never cold<br />i found this place so long ago<br />Through the exterior reality of your soul<br /><br />i live in a world that no one knows<br />and now it's told that i'm too old<br />for if you cry my worlds exposed<br />And it dies so ever slowShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-65479135084830681352010-02-15T08:52:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:56:58.076-08:00ShadowingSafe haven in a blanket of fears<br />confusion released by the years<br />i try to run far away<br />but it follows me night and day<br />always on the back of my mind<br />but my mind's left so far behind<br />just working my way through the pain<br />It's no wonder i'm going insaneShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-31367774199119994412010-02-15T08:47:00.000-08:002010-02-16T13:18:57.776-08:00UninstitutionalizableBound in by chains of tears<br />cell walls consisting of mirrors<br />smiling faces melting to bone<br />haunting souls freezing to stone<br />trembling trees fearing the night<br />but using darkness as their light<br />subconscious world through a visual thought<br />mind triggered inspiration that's uncaught<br />for there are no boundaries limits or rules<br />i'm uninstitutionalizableShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-58093705151313743602010-02-15T08:45:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:47:49.823-08:00Tomorrows Yesterdayit's not because i'm lonely<br />although lonely i am<br />that's not the reason i'm feeling this<br />This i don't understand<br /><br />Last night you said you were confused<br />believe me you're not alone<br />i'm just as blind as you if not more<br />And i have been for so longShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-63469898960285728182010-02-15T08:42:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:45:15.557-08:00i Don't so ii don't want to cause an argument<br />so i will keep my responses inside<br />i don't want to inflict upon you pain<br />so i keep my distance with pride<br />i don't want to be the result of failed friendship<br />so i tell my heart it's a lie<br />i don't want for us to be apart<br />So i ask will you stay the nightShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-84186866881578019612010-02-15T08:37:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:42:47.128-08:00i Hope SoWill i remember you when i'm insane<br />i love who i forgot again<br />will i think about you when i'm in bed<br />your image will not leave my head<br />will i die for you when i'm old<br />another story never told<br />will i still love you when i'm dead<br />You know i will for i have saidShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-39619510034692553092010-02-15T08:33:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:37:04.832-08:00Liquid FirePain filled tears burning my chin<br />my world is in chaos again<br />pouring flames from my eyes<br />all that's accomplished is failured tries<br />the smoke of tension limiting my sight<br />and then you take my only light<br />tears like fire racing down my face<br />Is there a way out of this place<br /><br />Stain filled years burning all friends<br />wipe the love from tired eyes<br />inner blisters from all sins<br />All compassion is just liesShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-51550548348333027762010-02-15T08:30:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:33:08.675-08:00LonelinessLife without a friend<br />life without a love<br />no one to talk to<br />nothing to enjoy<br />death is all i wish<br />Nothing more nothing less<br /><br />i hide in the darkness<br />from what i don't understand<br />i run from shadows<br />that i can't comprehend<br />death is all i wish<br />It's just lonelinessShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-64230116916960380392010-02-15T08:28:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:29:47.339-08:00Shamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-60311492784450604692010-02-15T08:25:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:28:18.349-08:00Rotate Planet DeadThis side of the world is dying<br />indeed my friend without you<br />this time is the last of seven<br />What's a dead man have to lose<br /><br />This side of the world is trying<br />to rebuild with parts all used<br />reconcile with a lover<br />In a world with hearts all bruisedShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-21247279931495089852010-02-15T08:22:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:25:39.711-08:00Trust me i KnowThe world will not stop turning<br />just because one's gone<br />no one will lose sleep<br />Or cry for very long<br /><br />Soon they'll be referred to<br />as a fading memory<br />and after that forgotten<br />And that is what i seeShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-27672331151297944702010-02-15T08:16:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:22:18.823-08:00Lovers And Liersi can't think with an unappreciated mind<br />corrupted by lovers and liers<br />i can't live in an uncaring world<br />Filled with such morbid desires<br /><br />i can't love with an unprotected heart<br />pouring out to everyone that i see<br />i can't die in an uncontrollable manner<br />But i'm already dead deep in meShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-45718383718230196582010-02-15T08:14:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:16:16.721-08:00Everything In BetweenTogether never<br />together again<br />only wasted time<br />a fight romance<br />a fight again<br />Already wasted mineShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-73513106119350920882010-02-15T08:13:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:14:31.412-08:00Falling Over YouTwo peoples feelings<br />love and hate<br />all balled into one<br />the brightest gift<br />for darkest days<br />Who wants a sunShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-26462110294218286582010-02-15T08:11:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:12:51.810-08:00Getting To meNo matter how much<br />you tell me you care<br />it always seems rehearsed<br />it's hard for me to stay on top <br />When you say i'm the worstShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-21646252971665630102010-02-15T08:09:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:11:19.291-08:00December 25thLove is nothing<br />if one can't pass the test<br />a failed father<br />and worthless lover<br />At my very best<br /><br />Love is everything<br />only for those you care<br />and a no good rotten<br />preoccupied no one<br />me left standing hereShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-29642058304796215562010-02-11T11:57:00.000-08:002010-02-11T12:01:58.585-08:00Beauty FoolWhat am i going to do<br />the whole world's in love with you<br />and you think i'm just a fool<br />i wish i was a beauty too<br />so i could be more like you<br />a priceless emotionless jewel<br />why is everyone so cruel<br />What am i going to do<br /><br />What am i going to do<br />when ice storms in your heart brew<br />in a warm love filled life i grew<br />oh how i wish it was new<br />i'm still deep in love with you<br />my whole world's come unglued<br />and all of your dreams are true<br />What am i going to doShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-34316663628564140432010-02-09T08:58:00.000-08:002010-02-09T09:02:26.947-08:00BlanketJust to let me know you're thinking<br />just to let me know you're there<br />just so i can stop my worries<br />Just so i know that you care<br /><br />Even if you can't talk too long<br />even if you're on the go<br />even just to hear your soft words<br />Even just to let me knowShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-40155053409961946102010-02-09T08:53:00.000-08:002010-02-09T08:58:23.086-08:00AskAsk upon this no one person<br />who's even worse at second glance<br />ask if he'll ever be someone<br />And i'll tell you not a chance<br /><br />Ask upon this someone woman<br />with a glass of sweet romance<br />ask if she'll ever be no one<br />And she'll tell you not a chanceShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-51350182274203959212010-02-09T08:50:00.000-08:002010-02-09T08:53:34.526-08:00WhatBlue wax sky pearl white stars glowing<br />hidden secret still not showing<br />dark red sores of sad boy burning<br />Opposite side moon clash turning<br /><br />White wax waves ocean blue dance<br />exposed first fears only last chance<br />extinguished memory still haunting<br />Positive wet clouds bolt of lightningShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5442120377059982146.post-61195807400371594702010-02-09T08:44:00.000-08:002010-02-09T08:49:54.584-08:00Long Agoi am just a bad man<br />bad into my soul<br />think i found an old road<br />That will lead me to your home<br /><br />And if your home's still standing<br />think i will come knock<br />and i hope that you will answer<br />So we can take a walk<br /><br />Walk into my forest<br />sit upon your stone<br />that is how i spend time<br />In bed asleep alone<br /><br />Because i know it's not still standing<br />therefore i can't come knock<br />and you'll not be there to answer<br />So we can take a walk<br /><br />That's why i'm a sad man<br />and even growing cold<br />i've lost the way to my thoughts<br />That will lead me to my soulShamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15731758382388543369noreply@blogger.com0